A Very Mort Christmas: How Our Favourite Gumshoe Might Celebrate the Holidays
Christmas is a time for joy, togetherness, and—if you’re Mort—a whole lot of chaos. Our favourite gumshoe isn’t exactly the poster boy for holiday cheer. He’s more likely to be caught in the middle of a bar brawl than singing carols around the fire. But that doesn’t mean Mort doesn’t have his own unique way of celebrating the festive season. So, grab a glass of something strong, because we’re diving into what a very Mort Christmas might look like.
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A TREE WITH A TWIST
But here’s the surprise: hanging from one of the branches, just barely noticeable amidst the chaos, is a small picture of Mort and Susie. It’s not much—just a simple snapshot tucked into a cheap frame—but it’s a rare glimpse into the softer side of Mort. While he’ll grumble about the tree being “too sentimental,” deep down, it’s clear he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Holiday Parties Turned Crime Scenes
Imagine Mort at a festive office party. He’s not there for the canapés; he’s there because a jewellery thief in a Santa suit just pinched someone’s engagement ring. While the rest of the guests are singing Jingle Bells, Mort’s cornered Santa in the supply closet, grilling him like chestnuts on an open fire.
Chasing a Thief Dressed as Santa
It’s Christmas Eve, and instead of sugar plums dancing in his head, Mort’s chasing a crook dressed as Santa through the crowded streets of Brisbane. Dodging Christmas shoppers and angry Santa’s handing out candy canes, Mort eventually tackles his perp in a pile of fake snow outside a department store. Justice is served, and Mort rewards himself with a stiff drink—his version of a Christmas miracle.
Secret Santa Shenanigans
Mort in a Secret Santa exchange? He’s the guy who forgets to buy a gift and ends up re-gifting a box of bullets or an out-of-date pack of Tim Tams from his office drawer. But when someone inevitably gifts him a novelty coffee mug that says “World’s Grumpiest PI,” he’ll smirk and mutter, “At least they got it right.”
Christmas Lunch, Mort-Style
Mort’s idea of Christmas lunch doesn’t involve a table full of glazed hams and pavlova. Instead, he’s probably at the local diner, scarfing down a meat pie and a coffee while working through the latest case file. If someone tries to drag him to a family gathering, he’ll dodge it faster than a punch in a bar fight.
A Mistletoe Moment
Mort’s Christmas is rarely about romance, but even a hardened gumshoe like him isn’t completely immune to the magic of the season. Somewhere between chasing down a petty thief and dodging an overly cheerful caroler, Mort finds himself standing beneath a sprig of mistletoe with Susie.
For a brief moment, the world seems to pause. Susie gives him that look—the one that can stop him in his tracks faster than any perp. Mort, ever the reluctant softie, leans in for a kiss that’s equal parts hesitation and heart. It’s awkward, unexpected, and completely perfect in its imperfection.
Of course, the moment is cut short when his phone buzzes with a new case. “Christmas,” he mutters, smirking as he grabs his coat. But as he heads out the door, there’s a rare glint of something in his eyes—hope, maybe, or the realisationhat even in the chaos of his life, some things are worth slowing down for.
Mort’s Christmas might not look like the picture-perfect holiday card, but it’s every bit as memorable. With his sharp wit, tough-as-nails attitude, and knack for finding trouble, Mort brings his own kind of cheer to the season—one solved case at a time.
So, here’s to a very Mort Christmas: messy, unconventional, and completely unforgettable. Want more of Mort’s antics? Dive into The Mort Series and see how your favourite gumshoe handles crime, chaos, and maybe even a little Christmas magic.